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  • RoboCallers, Meet RoboCop

    Dear RoboCallers from "Autumn Hills, Mich.," "Arlington, Va.," and "Chicago":

    I'm not interested in refinancing my house, getting government-sponsored forgiveness on student debt, adding to my home's security system, or extending the warranty on my car. And despite what you may think, I've been on the West Coast this week, so I sure as hell don't appreciate the fact that you're calling from wherever the hell you are at 4:30 am PST.*

    I wish I could petition our government to get rid of all of you, but my sources on the East Coast tell me they're busy trying to screw up things other things families actually need in their lives, like health care. And because getting rid of all the robocalls is something everyone can get behind, it won't happen. They're too busy in their partisan closets to actually agree on something.

    Why don't you spend time calling their cellphones instead? I'm sure the Russians can help with that one.

    Sincerely, The Masses

    (* Of course, I was up already, but that's a different story.)