So here we are in May, less than six weeks after the end of one of the most brutal winters on record, and my house decided this week to turn into a sauna.
Several weeks ago, I said that Mother Nature’s April Fools joke was, “Spring is coming…” And it turns out the joke is on me. Somehow, we decided to skip from snow to 90-degree temperatures in just a few short weeks, and that’s when our AC decided to bite the dust.
We knew it would happen sooner than later, because the unit has been patched with bubblegum and bailing wire for some time now. Call it "The Sad Saga of Home Ownership" truism: Yes, when you build a home you get to move into it with all new stuff — stuff that a decade or so down the line decides to break all at once.
In terms of repairs, we’ve been somewhat lucky, although all of the kitchen appliances decided to roll up and die within a three-month period last year. And don't get me started on home improvement, in part because I possess no handyman skills whatsoever, which apparently qualifies me to be rated 13th best in Northern Virginia.
I hoped this year would be limited to a new dryer, something we knew was coming because the old one belonged to Jill’s grandmother who died 20 years ago. But just weeks after agreeing to a no-interest for 18 months contract on that, we found ourselves with an air conditioner that refused to blow air. That, my friends, just blows.
And so we found ourselves seeking more no interest financing and hoping we can pay it off before the penalty kicks in.
Another thing you quickly learn after building a house is that builder-grade appliances are C- students at best. I posted to Facebook that my air conditioner always has reminded me of a mediocre co-worker: inefficient, cranky, not terribly productive, and doing just enough to get by.
But just like you eventually reach the end of your rope with that co-worker, I can officially say I hope our AC burns in hell, because that would just begin to match how hot our house has been this week.
Fortunately, temperatures have dropped to something approaching bearable over the past few days, although the storms coming in are worrisome in their own right. So what’s next? Leaks? Floods? Animals lining up two by two?
I don’t want to even think about that last part. In fact, if it happens, I’m happy to subcontract it out. I think I know just the handyman for the job.