Blog: Our Reality Show

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Currently showing posts tagged Sondheim

  • (Not) Getting Married Today

    Beth Howland's death was announced today and, due to her wishes, it was almost six months after it happened. That's a remarkable feat in today's 24/7 news world, but nothing compared to the prospect of performing this song eight times a week on a Broadway stage. You might remember Howland as the ditzy waitress on the long-running show "Alice," but she also was an original cast member of "Company."

  • If Sondheim Was A Parent...

    My one attempt to channel Sondheim, badly and without remorse, in a pitiful attempt to discuss those last few days before parenting begins.

    Husband’s Friends:
    Is it born yet? / How’s your wife?

    Wife’s Friends:
    Want to hear my labor story? / Or the story of my life?

    Friends (both):
    Is there anything we can do / Before it comes?
    You know who…

    Wife:
    I’m surrounded, distracted, / Contorted, not contracted.
    People asking why?

    Husband’s Friends:
    Is it born yet? / How’s your wife?

    Wife’s Friends:
    Want to hear my labor story? / Or the story of my life?

    Husband’s Friends:
    It’ll be soon, I promise. / Tomorrow, I’ll bet.

    Wife’s Friends:
    Full moon coming. / Next week, no sweat.

    Husband:
    I’m swirling, toppling, twirling. / My stomach curling.
    People asking why?

    Husband’s Friends:
    Is it born yet? / How’s your wife?
    Want to hear my labor story?

    Wife:
    That’s the story of my life!

    Wife’s Friends:
    I’m sure you’re ready. / Got the room together?
    We bought him a teddy.
    When she comes home, we'll come see.
    We wouldn’t want to bother, / Would we?

    Wife:
    I’m tossing, turning, pillows overhead.
    Not sleeping. Not yearning.
    Learning to leave things unsaid.

    Husband’s Friends:
    Is it born yet? / How’s your wife?

    Husband:
    That’s the story of my life!

    Wife:
    Phone is ringing. 

    Husband:
    People singing.

    Friends Together:
    Is it born yet? / How’s your wife?
    Want to hear my labor story?
    Or the story of my life?

    Wife:
    I wonder if I’ll ever sleep again.

    Husband:
    Me too.

    Friends Together:
    Never again / Not you two.
    Especially after you know who.
    When it's born / You'll wonder why.
    Sometimes you'll sit. / Sometimes you'll cry.
    Sometimes you'll wonder, / "Why do I try?" 

    But then it's born, and you will see
    It doesn't matter / He or she
    Because you will love your child

    Everyone:
    Unconditionally.